In lift ...

Cateodata intru in lift grabit , mai rar dar mi se intampla, iar liftul pe langa ca se inchide inainte sa intru in el dar are si nesimtirea sa "urle" in timp ce usile se inchid ... Un sentiment ciudat ma cuprinde ... simt ca m-am pus cu personalitatea liftului si ca el acum ma cearta , ma dojeneste ...

Domnilor de la Schindler Romania explicati-ne daca e lucratura dvs. asta sau proprietarii cladirii acesteia de birouri ne cred o turma de oi care trebuiesc dojenite daca nu se aliniaza cu bunul mers/plac al unei masinarii ... Si parca povestea era ca masina sa ne ajute pe noi , oamenii , remember ?! ...

Oricum ar fi ... va reprosez macar faptul ca exista un asemenea sistem de alarma sonora , menit sa ne "educe" !

Pentru a nu ramane in aceasta nota serioasa , propun :





Enjoy life till the end ,
by Redy

Women do think ... about men

How woman think about Men ?


1. What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women 

2. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One...men will screw anything.

3. How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.

4. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

5. What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.

6. How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
He's breathing.

7. How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?

8.  What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Government bonds mature.

9. How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off of his head.

10 What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up.

11 How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know, it's never been done.

12 How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are
handicapped.

13 What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.

14What's a man's idea of a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.

15 What's a man's idea of helping you with the housework?
Picking up his feet so you can vacuum.

16 What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

17  What's the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding, scum-sucker, and the other is a fish!

18 What did God say after creating man?
i can do better.

19 .What do you have when you have two balls in your hand?
 A man's undivided attention.

20 .What are the two reasons why men don't mind their business?
 1.     No mind.
 2.     No business.

21 .Why did God create man?
 Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

22 .Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover?
 He knows firsthand the penalty for early withdrawel.

23. Why are men like laxatives?
 They both irritate the shit out of you.

24 .If a man got pregnant...
 Abortion would be available in convenient stores and drive-thru
 windows.

25 .Why do men name their penises?
 They want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes
 all of their decisions.

26. Why is it so hard for women to find a man who is sensitive,
 caring, and good-looking?
 Because they already have boyfriends.

27. Did you hear about the man who won a gold medal at The Olympics?
 He had it bronzed.

28. Why do men like masturbation?
 It's sex with someone they love.

29. Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
 So they don't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

30. What is gross stupidity?
 144 men in the same room.

31.What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
 The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

32. How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
 Three:  One to hold the pan, and two others to show off and
 shake the stove.

33.  What is a man's view of safe sex?
 A padded headboard.

34. How do men sort their laundry?
 "Filthy" and "Filthy But Wearable."


the end

Sex in Murphy's laws ...

1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is
to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it,
because it'll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount
of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to
get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops
listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the
same ones she can't stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you
won't either.
21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for
crop failure.
22. The younger the better.
23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that
caused the trouble in the garden.
25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
27. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot
of frogs.
28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse
than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
29. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
30. Love is a hole in the heart.
31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone
into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on
the moon.
32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
33. Do it only with the best.
34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned
four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
39. Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
40. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
41. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
42. Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the
women he couldn't.
44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
45. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
46. Never say no.
47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
51. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
52. Love comes in spurts.
53. The world does not revolve on an axis.
54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other
eight are unimportant.
55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
56. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they
fall in love.
58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
60. "This won't hurt, I promise."