1) "Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. "
2) "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. "
3) "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. "
4) "An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do."
5) "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
6) "To alcohol, the nights that you'll never remember, with the friends you'll never forget."
7) "If alcohol is a crutch, then Jack Daniels is the wheelchair."
8) "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
9) "Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life."
10) "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
... by Redy
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